My hand turned me down
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
