so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She bit a glass in half.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Come share oat with me in your robe
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
