Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize