I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
