dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
