u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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