I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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