just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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