It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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