My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize