i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
