Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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