All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I cannot find my penis.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
