i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
