He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
