she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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