I think my vagina is haunted
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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