ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
