Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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