singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize