the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
home. puking in laundry basket.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
