i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
