I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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