i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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