its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
