i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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