It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
