Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
