Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
