Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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