theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
