I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he was CRYING into my vagina
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
