I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
