he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
