Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
