I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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