Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
