You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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