I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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