is your mom at the bar?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I just put wine in my tea
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize