Your tits are I can't wait for
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
