I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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