Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
