Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
