I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
