i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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