I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
