i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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