How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
