Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
