i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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