Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
