I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well I just put wine in my tea
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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