I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
