Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
wow bdsm is so cute
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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