I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
