she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
