he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
