I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
