i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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