her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
