Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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