wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
