will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i love accidental penises.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
