She's JV to your varsity
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize