She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dick very happy bro
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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