There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm both gender and math confused
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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